Diary of A Sick Kid

Life Update:

1. I am so bad at keeping up with this blog. 

2. I have been cleared for MS!

3. They are now looking into Wilson’s disease due to high copper levels.

4. My Headache: It has been getting steadily worse. I don’t like it. I recently had Occipital Nerve Blocks done and they provided me with little relief and horrible neck pain. However, this is not the norm. 

5. If I dont get better by summer/dont learn how to pretend to be healthy, I get to spend my summer in an inpatient hospital looking for a diagnosis. I’m sorry, it may work for some people, but I would probably go nuts. 

6. What I WILL be doing this summer instead of being hospitalized: Getting a damn job. Working and working and working. Attending the National Student Leadership Conference for Medicine. And visiting old friends. 

Plus one dull week in Oregon.

Yay.

How have all my delightful followers been?

I hope your spoons are plentiful!

My test results came back negative.

I’m not even relieved anymore. I just want to know what is wrong. 

Superheroes in Hospital Gowns

Pain changes people in ways you could never imagine. Be it physical or emotional pain. The change could be good, it could be bad, it could be so many things. I have seen so much of both. I’ve seen pain turn people to suicide and drugs. I’ve seen pain take away the heart and soul of people I love. I have also seen pain turn people in to superheroes. This is the story of those superheroes.

I used to be good at everything. I was a straight A student and a star athlete. I competed on a national and international level in rock climbing and horseback riding. I was also a dancer. I only danced for a few years but I loved it. It made me feel beautiful no matter what. I helped teach and coach younger kids and I don’t even remember how many times I heard one of them say “I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

Then in the fall of 2007, I got hurt. I hit my head. Hard. I went to the hospital and they said I was fine. They stitched me up and sent me on my way with the diagnosis of a ‘mild concussion.’

Everything changed. I lost a good part of my memory which led to mental disorders. I had to relearn so much about myself and the way the world worked. I also developed very severe migraines.

I have had a severe migraine every hour of every day for 4 years and nearly 3 months. The first concussion was followed with four more. None severe, but all making the headaches just a little worse. I have had countless interruptions to my education because of my headaches, but they always drove me to do more.

In the last year, my health began declining more rapidly. New problems started appearing. Low grade fevers without a cause, extreme fatigue, fainting spells, joint pains, and worsening cognitive difficulties. I have undergone countless tests and procedures to figure out what is wrong with me, most resulting in inconclusive findings.

No one wants to be like me. No one wishes they were me. No one envies me.

But I wouldn’t trade my life for anything.

My illnesses and everything I have gone through make me who I am. I like to think they made me a better person. I learned who my real friends are. I learned never to take anything for granted. I learned to express myself in new ways. I learned to help people. I have made countless friends over the years when someone reaches out to me for help. People have come to me for advice about different conditions and doctors. In the words of Mark Pickup, a man disabled with multiple sclerosis, “I have been of more service to the world disabled, than during my able-bodied years. That did not happen despite my disability, but because of my disability.”

I used to be good at everything, but now I am great at something: Helping people. I only hope to get better at helping, by achieving my dreams of becoming a doctor. My disabilities changed my world forever. All I can do now, is hope to change the world in an even bigger way. 

Update: The teacher I complained about has been taken off my case and is pending review.